You may feel that you are letting people down or not pulling your weight as you devote yourself to seeking Him. Some will certainly think this and may even voice it. He is drawing you to Him but people will also pull on you, as will your circumstances. Whenever anyone sets their mind to serve Him or follow Him there is always some resistance. Take comfort, for Jesus was resisted at every turn. At this time you will have to watch your heart and attitude. You have the choice of different responses to make, to either follow Him or walk away. This is when grace and obedience are most powerful. This is where the fruit of the Spirit ripens.
You may feel bruised and battered but you have only one course of treatment. He will strengthen you and restore you. Understand that what you go through isn’t anything new. You will not be the first nor the last. To continue and persevere is up to you. He will not force you but He will do everything to encourage you.
After all that happens and is happening do you still want to follow Him? Your mind needs a clear answer to carry you through this time. Your heart will say yes. Your deepest desire is for just that. The challenge is getting your mind to agree as well. Remind yourself daily of the eternal not just the here and now. Heaven is here now and so is your cross.
Passion will only carry you so far. Believing will only carry you so far but faith and trust in His grace will carry you right through. You have to be certain and know deep down. It has to be embedded within in you the truth that He will never let you down. You have to be utterly convinced because you will be challenged on it. This needs to be a daily decision.