Being led by the Spirit and being driven can look very similar. The question is what is driving you. The Holy Spirit will lead you into all truth. He will guide you and help you. Everything else will drive you. Powerful forces are at work and you need to be self-aware to realise when it is the Holy Spirit prompting. The emotion of the moment can overwhelm very rapidly.
You may not like the idea that He sometimes allows you to fail. This is so that your focus is solely on Him. He has something even better for you. An upgrade for your situation, for you. So that your identity is found only in Him. It does not make you a failure but neither does it allow you to boast of your successes. Share in His glory not your own. You may be seeing everything from a human, worldly view point. He wants to shift your perspective.
If you want to see the deaf ear opened. The blind eye see. The lame walk. The sick healed. You have to see through His eyes. To train yourself to expect His miraculous intervention in all that you do. Not just the big occasions but the every day, mundane, daily life stuff. See Him for who He is. Submit wholeheartedly to Him. Believe in Him. Trust Him. Rejoice in Him. Enter into His joy He has plenty to go round. More than enough for all His children and still some left over.
If you think it is all up to you. It is not. But only you can open the door and let Him in. Otherwise you are going to miss out on the real blessing of being His child and that is the greatest tragedy of all. The world is going to miss out on a blessing from God.