People say that they want more of Him. For that to happen He will want access to more of you. He wants more of you.
I suspect the cry of your heart is a greater intimacy with Him. You can’t get more of Him. You already have all of Him. He is in you and you are in Him. You have access to all of Him but does He have access to all of you? I suspect it is a little one sided even if you think the problem is on God’s side. He is not the one hiding.
Give Him your life and give Him your heart. Give Him your affection and your time. Give Him your energy and your ambitions. In short give Him everything. Not just words or well meaning platitudes. He is looking for the greatest gift of all, your heart. He wants more than a couple of hours of your time on a Sunday.
Any situation (good or bad in your terms) is either going to draw you closer to Him or drive you further away. It is not the situation that does that, it is your response or reaction to it. No matter how far you may feel you are from Him you are never actually very far away from Him at all.
When you think you have put a good distance between you and Him you turn round and there He is. He doesn’t stop you running away but you waste an awful lot of time and energy getting nowhere very fast.
It isn’t so much that He chases after you, it is more a case of you can’t really escape Him. He just loves you too much to abandon you. He hasn’t rejected you because of your choices but He always gives you the freedom to choose Him or not to choose Him. The choice is very simple, believe or not believe (even for believers).
He understands you. He really does. Stop thinking He doesn’t. Stop trying to get Him to understand you. He gets you totally. He knows more about you than you ever will. It is important that you begin that process of understanding yourself and understanding Him.
Even though He is perfect He loves imperfect people perfectly. I know, I’m one of them. Surrender means to adopt His desires and His ambitions over yours. This is regardless of how much you want to do your own thing. You don’t get to vote in this but you do get to participate. He will allow you to influence what it will look like and how it will happen. You are not a passive cog in the machine. He made you to be creative.
His desires and His ambitions are perfect. He is not like an overbearing parent who wants to live their dreams through their child. Yet He has a dream and it can only be realised through you.