Be encouraged, He has forgiven your sins, He loves you and wants the best for you. He wants you to thrive and succeed. He knows what is best for you and wants you to enjoy Him, fully and completely. He wants nothing more than to have a deep and meaningful relationship with you. He is not trying to get you to do something but to be who you really are. He made you and He knows how you work. Listen to Him, spend time with Him, He is kinder, more loving than you can ever imagine. He will accept you as you are but loves you too much to leave you like that.
Jesus is just so passionate about you even more than you are.